Whilst recuperating last week, there was a trending story on the Nigerian social media that caught my attention. If you follow Nigerian pop culture, I’m sure you would have seen it.
A phone conversation with a friend made me decide to share my opinion about the video and I’ll very much like to hear yours as well – so please leave a comment 😘.
The Video
The video was about a Lady – in lovely Nigerian attire – on her knees, eulogising her husband. Now, from my conversation with my friend as well as comments from the video post, there has been a lot of argument about her action. There are of-course two camps, ‘the for’ and ‘the against’. I fall in ‘the for’ camp and I’ll explain my reason – thanks Nono for urging me to discuss this 😘.
From what I saw in the video, her gesture embarrased her husband and he urged her to get up (this I think makes it clear that it’s not something she normally does). She outrightly told him to leave her be and she said something that struck me “when a husband does well, he should be honoured”.
Her statement drew me because we live in a world where a lot of us women are very independent and feel we do not need anyone to wait on us and certainly don’t have to answer to any man even our husbands! And so we read a lot about bad husbands/men, hardly do you come across stories where a man/husband is appreciated.
It was, therefore, heartwarming to see this video because as much as there are bad marriages/men, there are still good men/husbands and there are still good marriages.
How a lady decides to honour her man as far as I’m concerned is nobody’s business. If she wants to sing to/of him, that’s her cup of tea, if she wants to write a tribute and read to him – all good and if she wants to kneel and eulogise him then that’s her choice and should be respected.
Another thing ‘the against’ camp forgot is the cultural aspect. The lady in the video is from the Yoruba culture where kneeling is a sign of deference. That’s how Yorubas show respect. We kneel to greet adults and people of authority and in our culture, a husband is a person of authority and the wife is expected to kneel in respect to his authority. Husbands also have their own responsibilities. I’ll try to explain better for the benefit of my non-Nigerian readers.
In Nigeria, we have different tribes and these tribes have their own different cultures. I’m from the Yoruba tribe -which the woman in the video is from, and our culture demands that we kneel for our husbands in respect and submission.
Even though a lot of our culture has been watered down over the years with some aspects even done away with, at most Yoruba weddings, the wife still kneels to her husband (in most cases in recent times, that is the 1st and only time
Conclusion
We live in a world where:
- Chivalry is seen as sexist. I feel it should not be ruled out as long as it doesn’t undermine a woman.
- Most men are perceived to be scum and are quickly called out for their bad
behaviour .
A woman who has a good man and decides to celebrate him should
I don’t know their story, but the little I saw, I liked. – a couple happy to celebrate each other. That’s what I’ve taken from the video and I applaud the lady for choosing to appreciate her man publicly in a way she felt would honor him best. Some people still embrace their culture in its entirety while some practice part of it, it’s their choice.
There’s so much anger in the world today, the atmosphere is so toxic. You have to always watch what you say or do so as not to anger a particular group or another🙄. Can we just let people be themselves and be happy, as long as they’re not harming anyone. Let’s live and let live – life is too short 😏.
Can I do what she did? No, do I consent? Absolutely! Every second of that video was adorable. I love how he tried to pull her up but she insisted he let her be. I also love how he was embarrassed and moved to tears. She knew how to touch him and she did it.
If I should try that, I’ll just end up embarrassing myself and my man because that gesture would not move him one bit. But I know other things to do to appreciate him publicly.
Let people do them. Do what makes you happy, do what makes your partner/friends/family happy as long as you’re not hurting another person.
What are your thoughts on this story?
How do you appreciate your partner?
Please feel to share…
Video link 👇🏽
https://www.instagram.com/p/BuHhUFQFZbq/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1eaxhkl2w2sft
I totally agree! I saw the video and applaud the woman. Do I kneel for my husband? No but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my way of appreciating him and honoring him. Our love languages are different and shouldn’t be judged because it doesn’t conform to another standard. Really live and let live!!!
Yes, I love how you put it, indeed we all have different love language. Each person should be free to express theirs without judgment or condemnation. Thank you.
It is so hornable to acknowledge your husband when he treats you well
Absolutely Mamie, any woman will be happy to acknowledge a man that treats them right. Thank you for your comment.
Lovely write-up Lulu. I totally agree with you and actually had a similar discussion today over breakfast with a very good friend. That’s the problem with Social media and freedom of speech as it creates problem with world order. I would always refer to my manual the Bible, woman was created from the rib of the man according to Genesis 2 and further Chapters and verses continually spell out the headship of the man.
1 Corinthian 11:3 says the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God. 1 Timothy 2:11-15 says Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man, rather she is to remain quiet for Adam was formed first then Eve and Adam was not deceived but the Woman was deceived.
I can go on and state several passages that our Society was built on but which some powers now want to change by insisting we are equal. There are different ways people show respect to their head or Lord, even husbands show love to their wives in different ways, she chose to honor her husband this way which brought him to tears and showed the whole world that he is a good man. We would all show this love and appreciation in different ways once we are moved by love and overwhelmed.
I totally agree with you, especially using the bible as the basis of your argument. I believe other religions also recognise the husband as the head of the home. As long as they carry out their own responsibility to love – as you pointed out, I’m sure any woman will be willing to show their appreciation. Thank you
Lovely deliberation. A good husband needs celebrating to encourage them on especially when these days only the problematic ones are always criticised openly. We need let our younger girls and daughters that a good marriage is worth looking forward to . The bible has made it clear regarding headship in marriage ( and so does my culture ) and I believe this should be passed on to ensure peaceful homes . Thank you Bimbo for sharing and those are lovely wedding photos x
Thanks for you contribution my dear Dr, glad we’re on the same page. Thanks for your compliments too
Beautiful video, lovely moment. May their joy be complete in Jesus Name