Is it me or this year’s ‘Award Season’ fashion has been quite underwhelming so far 🤔. Oh yes, we’ve seen a few very nice looks, but I’ve hardly been wowed! I really hope the actors bring their ‘A game’ to the Academy Awards next month.
Enjoy my pick of my favourite looks from the SAG awards 😉;
Let’s start with the ladies in yellow 😊
I love love this golden yellow dress. It looks amazing on Aja, definitely one of my best looks of the night. 🙌
Yellow never looked so good … Kelechi absolutely wows in this dress 🎇
Someone please tell Elizabeth Moss to stick to whoever styled her! She’s someone that gets it wrong more often than not, but this look right here is a winner 🤩
The ‘This is Us’ starlet looks so beautiful and elegant. Very matured look for a 16 year old but still so innocent. One of ny favourites 🤩
I usually don’t really dig Lady gaga’s fashion, but she really did put her best foot forward here. 😘
I’m a big fan of Danai, she doesn’t strike me as someone that is really big on fashion but I like this look. 😎
I really admire Glen close. This seasoned actress impresses me with her carriage and composure and she always has something sensible to say. Love this chic appearance 👌
How wonderfully playful, flirty, youthful and beautiful is Yara’s look. I love it, she’s such a beauty 💖
Sandra Oh really stepped up her game this award season! I’m not surprised though as she’s been smiling home with the plaques at almost all the awards…👏👏👏
To see the back of Jackie’s dress is to love it even more 😍 I want 😋
Emma Stone is one of my best actresses of this generation. I like how she defied red carpet tradition by going for this smart look as opposed to a frock. She owned it and I love it, go girl 😍
Oh Mandy 😍. How elegant is this look…
Not one of my best looks but worth mentioning. I feel like it could have been fitted better 🤔 but what do I know 🤷♀️. Nice look though 😊
Elie Saab fashion house is responsible for some of the best red carpet looks ever, and this is no exception. Love this look almost as much as I love the evergreen Michelle 😘
My favourite couples at the SAG… 😚
Cutest couples at the SAG.
These two are always so adorable on the carpet 😘
I Really wanted to Like Emily’s dress but 😙 I think her husband looked better 🤦♀️ the two of them together though! 💥
Oyinkan is a Super mum of 3 wonderful Children and my childhood friend. Shortly after she had her twins, I remember feeling hurt because I felt she was not keeping in touch. It was not until I had a conversation with my mum (of blessed memory) that I realised why, and I can`t describe how petty and silly I felt.
Please read Oyinkan’s story – in her own words…
My name is Oyinkan Kalejaiye and I am a Mum of 3 boys with additional needs.Yes… you read that right – I have been blessed with 3 sons and all 3 have additional needs.
Oluwaseni is my first son, he is nearly 14 years old, he was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in May 2017. Type 1 Diabetes is an auto-immune medical condition where the body’s immune system attacks and destroys the pancreas which is the organ that produces insulin in the body. Nobody knows why this happens in certain people, it isn’t linked to lifestyle or life choices and like a lot of auto-immune conditions, there’s nothing anyone could have done to stop/prevent it.
After Seni I had my identical twin sons, Oluwatoni and Oluwatosin, they are nearly 11 years old now. The twins were born early at 33 weeks and the first few years of their lives were full of different diagnosis, too many hospital visits/stay and a massive invasion of our family life by all sorts of professionals.Toni and Tosin were born profoundly Deaf, the profound bilateral sensorineural deafness is also linked to problems with their eyesight, on top of that there were feeding problems, breathing problems, problems with mobility, some neurological disorder and this is just to list some of the medical conditions they’ve had to cope with since birth.
Is this how I planned my life? No. Has it been easy? Definitely not. Do I feel blessed and privileged to be a Mum to my sons? Absolutely yes. Have I always been this positive and accepting of my life as a parent of my sons? Honestly…No. My journey to acceptance of this aspect of my life has been the greatest experience of my entire life till date.
At what point did you realise there was something wrong?
I knew quite early after we got home from the hospital that there was something wrong with the twins however nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. The issues started coming up one after the other, for example, they weren’t responding to any sound whatsoever, one of them was breathing very loudly and strangely, feeding them was tough because they had really bad reflux, to name a few things I noticed. In the end, they were under the care of 4 different hospitals including Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children for about 4 years of their life. They are now under the care of 2 hospitals including Great Ormond Street.
Seni is a very sporty, energetic and happy child. Hardly ever ill, for the first 12 years of his life he never went into a hospital for anything, hardly ever visited the GP. April/May 2017, he started complaining of tiredness, extreme thirst so he was drinking a lot of water, peeing a lot too. He is quite a slim boy, has a naturally slim build but he looked thin and sickly. To be honest, I didn’t pay attention at first when he started complaining because I took a lot for granted and felt I had ‘paid my dues’, after all, my experience with the twins is a whole lot of payment, isn’t it? I mean ‘Seni is never ill’, ‘he is my healthy boy’, ‘nothing can touch him’ – these were my thoughts as I told him to rest more, go to bed early, play less football/other sports, drink less water so he would pee less. Unknown to me, he was showing and experiencing classic symptoms of Type 1 Diabetes – Thirst, tiredness, frequent visits to the toilet and weight loss. It took a mad dash to the GP one Monday morning in May 2017 when I found him struggling to breathe and in a terrible state to confirm the diagnosis. He ended up spending 4 days in a hospital, I nearly lost my son – I will forever be grateful to God that he is still here. He is now insulin – dependent for the rest of his life. He is currently on 4/5 insulin injections a day to keep him alive.
How did the boys’ medical issues affect you and your family unit?
To be honest, my experience as a parent of children with additional needs tore me apart at first. The experience challenged every aspect of my life – everything I thought I knew as a human being, a woman, a wife, a Christian and as a Nigerian has been challenged to the extreme. My faith and ‘security’ have been dragged through fire. It hasn’t been a pleasant experience and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it.
However, what could have destroyed me has certainly brought out the best of me. I am such a better version of myself now and I am grateful for this. My marriage and family went through hell and back because of the challenges – marriage didn’t survive; the breakdown of a marriage is a massive challenge on its own. There are no words to the describe the feelings I experienced when I was in the depth of it all – it has been a very lonely and difficult journey for me. I have learnt to depend on God and to be incredibly self-motivated. I have learnt to be my biggest cheerleader and trust in the fact that ‘I am enough’ and God is with me.
Thankfully my ex-husband and I are now in a good place regarding our relationship as parents to our sons. I have also been blessed with a few people who have prayed for me, believed in me, stood by me and encouraged me. I’ve learnt that in life all you need is a few good people in your corner and that’s ok. I’m grateful for these people, some of them are professionals, some family, some friends, some strangers – they have all in their own way made the journey less painful and difficult.
How has it been raising the boys over the years?
I am grateful that despite the challenges I am managing to raise very happy and well-rounded boys. We have come a long way however I have always had a solid vision and goals regarding raising my sons. Goals may have to be adapted, steps towards achieving them changed but the vision remains the same. For example, one of my goals is for the twins to communicate effectively so I had to learn British Sign Language and I started to sign with them at an early age which has been really invaluable to the overall achievement of our communication goals.
The twins are doing well despite everything – they had an operation at the age 2 and were implanted with bilateral cochlear implants. Cochlear implants give the boys access to sound when they wear the external processors. In the course of this journey we have had to deal with speech and communication delay, problems with social interaction/behaviour, learning delay/difficulties to name a few however currently they sign extremely well, speak well, interact well, some of their health issues are resolved and the rest of the health issues are managed and controlled. They attend a specialist school for Deaf Children and are doing well in school. It has taken a whole lot of hard work, determination, mental/physical/emotional exhaustion to get to where they are today – I am thankful to God for an abundance of grace and strength.
Seni is still a very happy, sporty and energetic boy – one of the first things I told him following his diagnosis was ‘Seni, what has happened to you is extremely unfair and sad however you are only 12 years old, you are too young to spend the rest of your life being a victim to this. Despite of this challenge, you have to live your best life possible. Don’t let it hinder you, adapt and carry on living’. It took time to get his head around things but I’m happy that today my son is taking my advice and living his life to the full. The presence and management of Type 1 Diabetes in his life is a ‘nuisance’ he has to deal with all day, every day however he is choosing to live and thrive – I am so proud of him.
Do you work? If you do, how do balance that with raising a family?
I’m a law graduate and practiced law for a while however nowadays I work and volunteer in different roles supporting people and families going through crisis, difficult situations, and challenges. I work in schools, I work/volunteer for charities and other agencies. I have found my life’s calling through my experience and I am so passionate about it. It’s hard work but extremely fulfilling and rewarding. I give a lot and I also learn a lot from my job and volunteering positions, I am always amazed at how resilient human beings can be in the midst of great adversity. My work is an outlet for me – for me, it’s a form of self-care.
I am a single parent – I have been on my own since my boys’ father moved abroad 6 years ago. It’s tough but I make it work by fitting everything around the boys. I’ve had to stop work for a while, change jobs and do whatever it takes to meet the needs of the boys adequately. I work term -time only. One thing I try and prioritise now is my own self-care as well, I can be very child-focused and not pay enough attention to myself but I’m working on creating a balance now.
Life as a parent of a child/children with additional needs can be challenging however it can also be fulfilling, rewarding and bring out the best in you if you let it. My boys are a huge blessing to me and I feel truly blessed to be their mother.
Advice for parents of children with additional needs.
Whatever the challenge life throws at you – go through the emotions, don’t resist it, grieve, cry, be angry etc… take time to feel the emotions. It’s not being weak, it’s actually being strong and human. You are allowed to be sad, angry, confused, disappointed and frustrated – don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Unresolved emotions and emotional baggage do a lot of harm to us mentally, physically and psychologically.
Next step is don’t stay broken, don’t stay down, pick yourself up – embrace your new situation, make it your ‘friend’ and get to know it. It’s a new experience, it may be unwanted but it’s here, so familiarise yourself with it.
Get information and educate yourself about the condition/situation/challenge. There is a lot of information out there, find the relevant ones, the ones that will empower you and give you a good understanding of what you’re dealing with, explore different options available to you and how best to manage it.
Try not to hide away or isolate yourself (the urge is usually very strong, try and resist it). Find, access and engage with the right support. Peer-to-peer support through people who are in your situation or have gone through it in the past. Mentors – people who have ‘been there, done that and gotten the trophy’. Professional support – engage positively with professionals, do what is required of you, work with them proactively to get the best out of the service they are offering. Professionals play an important role.
Have a clear vision for your life/your child/relationship – have goals, be flexible and adaptable because there will be a lot of things out of your control but stay with the vision.
Children are extremely resilient beings – acknowledge their challenges but try not to limit them, continue to support and empower them, never lose hope. I am learning that regardless of the challenges, the possibilities remain endless which is why we have to keep our options open and be open to new opportunities, ideas, information, and knowledge.
Self Care is so important, I can’t stress it enough – I learnt this late and I have had to deal with the consequences of neglecting myself, worrying too much, not sleeping well, isolating myself, not speaking out early about certain things and bottling things up etc… TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, you matter, you are a priority. As a parent, one of the greatest things you can do for your child is to take good care of yourself. Take time out often to unwind and just be. Find time to do the things you love and enjoy. Be intentional about this. If you are part of a couple – take time out and nurture your relationship, it is so important.
Everyone’s life journey is different – trust your journey, embrace the process of living your life and love your fate.
Advice for people on how to behave/relate with families with additional needs Children
The key word here is ‘EMPATHY’ – put yourself in their shoes, treat them how you would want to be treated. Treat their children how you would want your child/children to be treated. Always be empathic, be patient and be supportive. If you don’t understand something, ask. If you’re curious, ask. If you’re concerned, ask and seek clarification – don’t make assumptions and try not to be judgemental.
The amazing mothers like Oyinkan and Tope that share their stories on this blog do it so that it can be a source of encouragement to others struggling through the same or similar situations. They also do it so that together we can all build a wall of support around each other.
Changes – what does it mean to change? Is it to adjust or advance? Maybe to develop or diversify! Change is all that and more… According to the Oxford dictionary, ‘Change’ is an act or process through which something becomes different.
Changes occur every day and in all spheres of life. One sphere that goes through regular change is Fashion. One day this is in, the next day it’s out. It’s referred to as ‘change in trend’.
In my last post about the Golden Globes Awards, I mentioned that I don’t follow trends. Trends are a big part of fashion and for a lot of people, it goes hand in hand. I used to be very much into trends. It was hard not to, I’m a 90s girl and the 90s trends were amazingly cool 😎.
Who or what dictates trend.
Who determines trends? ‘Trend’ means ‘a general direction in which something is developing or changing. It is a particular style and fashion that is popular at a particular time. The big fashion houses and magazines initially dictated trends. That has now changed with the popularity of fashion bloggers and celebrities – meaning anyone can start a trend now. As long as you have an impressive social media presence and massive followership, you can easily influence ‘trend’.
I became aware of fashion trends quite early, I think it was because I had older sisters who were into fashion and style. I still believe that the 90s had the coolest fashion trends of all time. Here are some of them.
Please enjoy 🤩.
Pops Swatch: This was popular late 80s/ early 90s. I was in Primary School when it was ‘the thing’. They are colourful watches with big faces and were called ‘Pop’. The Swatch wristwatch company launched the Pop Swatch and they were one of the coolest things in vogue at the time 😋.
Send down the rain Flip flops: I don’t know what these sandals were called back then but I know them as ‘send down the rain’. I’m not even sure why we called it that name, I’m thinking Majek Fashek probably wore them in his ‘send down the rain’ video. Anyway, these colourful elastic strap sandals were very popular then and every kid wanted one. They usually had different coloured straps. Unfortunately, I could not get a picture of these cool sandals. If you know the real name of these sandals, kindly leave a comment 😉.
Leggings/cycling shorts: Thank God for this 90s trend that has refused to go away cause till now I can live in leggings forever. They came in different bright colours then. As silly as the cycling shorts trend was, we rocked it. They were usually worn with a baggy top and waist pack that would probably hold a walkman 😎. Good old days.
Waist pack: They were colourful and fun like most late 80s/90s fashion, and they were the accessories to have back then. I think that’s another 90s trend that is still in use.
Jelly shoes: This was an early 90s trend. Rubber shoes (PVC) that came in different colours. Some were black though on some kind of mini platforms. There were cool back then. After a while, cheaper versions flooded the market making it a cool trend that everyone could rock.
Chokers: Thank God no one choked themselves during the choker trend 😁. There was the black velvet one with the big pendant and then the rubber coloured ones flooded the market.
Dungarees: Gosh, this trend was made popular by the TLC girl group back then. Every girl wanted to have it, as a matter of fact, every girl wanted to have all the TLC baffs back then 😋.
Plaid shirts (lumberjacks) think Xscape, Naughty by nature and all those cool hip hop groups then! They made these shirts so cool. Bonus point for you if you tie them around your waist 🤩.
Crop tops: The late Aaliyah was so popular for this trend. Remember her killer Abs? Well, we still rocked this trend with our ‘eba‘ abs, and of-course behind our parents back 🤐.
Shaba skirts/slits: The high slits became the thing sometimes in the late 90s. Skirts and even dresses were not spared from the slits 🤩. Got a lot of kids in trouble, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl gotta do 🤷♀️.
knapsacks/backpacks: Remember those little bags that were so popular in the 90s. I remember a particular valentines day back in Secondary School, a popular senior was the envy of all girls when she got one and a pair of Clogs as part of her presents 😋.
Bandanas: Bandanas were really popular in the 90s 🤩. I actually enjoyed this trend because bandanas are so cool and can be rocked in various ways. Does anyone remember bandana tops over your hipsters 😎?
Cargo pants/Combat shorts: Cargo pants and combat shorts were also very popular in the late 90s/early 2000. Brandy, Monica etc. especially made them the item to get.
Camouflage: They came in different colours and styles. Tops, bottoms etc. The trend was very popular and a hit with both ladies and guys making it even more interesting.
Butterfly Accessories: Remember those butterfly clips that were all the rage back then 😚. They came in different bright colours, some tops and bags even had them😚. Really pretty trend.
Pedal Pushers, Capri pants, Ski pants: these different trousers style rocked at different times in the 90s but were all popular and widely worn.
Coloured jeans: first it was the stone wash, and then we were all used to blue jeans. Then out of nowhere came the coloured jeans trend. A few smart babes started dyeing their blue jeans 🤩. I remember people discovered a way to spot originals😅.
The designer trend: Before the Guccis, Fendi’s and now Offwhite, Supreme etc became popular, young adults have taken interest in designers and they always come and go. We had the likes of Fubu, Rocawear, KarlKani Jeans, Fila, Phatfarm, Wuwear, Seanjohn etc. And then came the Polo (Ralph Lauren), Nautica, Tommy Hilfiger, Timberlands, Jordans etc. Of course, our industrious people in Aba and China had their own versions 😀.
Clogs/mules: Super popular trend in the 90s. While clogs are big and chunky, mules are sleek and narrow. Both were popular about the same time in the 90s.
Remember the skirt over trousers (thanks to Brandy and co, and the satin blouses, mini skirts, soul2soul, Bob (hairstyle), boots, waist-coats, Neon Accents, Platform Heels, Bell Bottoms… I could go on and on. All cool fashion from the best time ever, ‘The 90s.
A lot of the 90s fashion was influenced by popular music stars. Teen Movies and Tv shows such as Clueless, Sisters Act, Beverly Hills 90210 etc also influenced trends in the 90s. Did I miss out any of your favourite trend from the 90s? Please leave a comment.
I just can’t finish this post without a piece of banging music from the 90s, and there’s no better one than Tupac’s ‘Changes’ because as we all know, nothing stays the same – things always change.
Hi Dr Adeola, Thank you for this post. I noticed that whenever I indulge in sweet food just before my period, it gets heavy and lasts longer. Does diet affect Menstrual Cycle? I also noticed that my cycle changes sometimes. Is this normal?
Hello Ola, thank you for your comments. With regards to your questions;
So far there hasn’t been any medical consensus as to whether diet affects menstrual patterns or cause dysmenorrhea (painful periods). But this relationship has always been described by females so it may well be a big factor to personally consider when managing menstrual problems individually.
The medical literature and practice seem to pitch on the side that menstrual pain is not caused by nor have any association with sweet foods etc. We do know medicine is still not always able to prove associations or casuality in every circumstance yet we know bodily symptoms do occur that medicine is unable to explain or indeed resolve so this may be one of those kinds. So if you notice some food/sweets or anything makes your periods heavy and/or prolonged, my suggestion will be to avoid those prior to the periods.
Menstrual cycles and period patterns can change due to fluctuating hormonal levels, this can be normal and expected in many circumstances. For example, as we age – as early as from our thirties, it can also happen with contraceptive use, use of some medications etc.
However, there are certain circumstances where changes in cycles and menstrual pattern especially when persistently haphazard may be a sign that one needs medical opinion and generally an individualised approach to defining what is normal or not should be adopted by consulting with your doctor.
Like most ladies, I love fashion and pay attention to trends though I’m not a stickler😜. I do me, pick what I like no matter the year or season. I like classy understated fashion. style, glamour, yes mama! Bring it on 🙋♀️. And what better time to enjoy fashion than the awards season.
So did you watch the Golden Globes awards? Gone are the days when I would stay up all night watching awards show 🤦♀️. These days, all I need is to see pictures and watch clips of good speeches On-line.
Without further ado, here are my favourite looks from the 85th Golden globes awards.
I’ll start with the ladies in Vera Wang
Constance looks all so innocent in this lovely dress. The orange/rust belt gives it a perfect pop 🤩
Taraji is serving it hot with her look. And it’s my favourite colour 💚, yes Taraji, we approve too 🙋♀️. Cleavage? where? I see nothing 👼.
I love the fabric of this Jason Wu dress, very lush…😘
Lupita looks lovely in this dress, the colour is vibrant and fun 😎 oh, and she wore Aldo shoes 👌 – good message Lupita. Not a fan of her hairstyle though, but good look altogrther. 👍
The ever so graceful Glen Close looked regal in her outfit for the awards. If you’ve seen ‘The Wife’, you’ll know she over deserved the award. Such a great actress she is 🤗. How is she always so calm and composed? 🤔
Taylor never fails to wow on the red carpet. whether you’re a fan of this tall beauty or not, you have to admit she kills it regularly. 😘
I’m a big fan of Jessica’s acting as well as her fashion. Her style is always classy and decent
Love this look, edgy but classy! How does that even work 😲
Chalize looks alluring in this Dior dress and I am all for it 😘
There were about 4-5 Monique Lhuillier dresses on the carpet that day but, Kaley’s dress led the pack in my opinion 😍.
How classy does Julianne Moore look? Love her look, very fresh and age appropriate if I can say that… 😘
I love the fit of this dress on Janet, it accentuates her beautiful physique in the right places. 😎
The best I’ve seen Sandra Oh, she was a winner for killing Eve, I’ve seen the series and ermmmm, well….. She looks really good 🤩
Just because I love Jamie Lee, and cause she’s aging so naturally and gracefully, and she writes and blogs and she’s a baroness and ….😁. Very appropriate dressing.
Another just because, yes I love me some Dakota and she can do no wrong in my 👀 So back off, the dress is more than just ok!😜
Kiki looks realing charming in this Christian Dior piece, there’s something almist ethereal about her look, one of my favourite looks 😊
How can she look this good! Ravishing look from Irina, dress fits like a glove 💯
Even though I wish she didn’t have the chiffon cape or whatever that is, I really like this dress. Lucy is a very smart dresser and I’m always impressed wuth her turn out. I like the look 😘
Quite simple right? But I love this look. Really like the delicate lace fabric used for the dress.💖 The hem though🙄.
The body on Regina King!🎇Lovely look for a winner, she looks stunning. 😍
Halley Berry 😘, looking graceful in her go to designer. l💓ve it.
Love this look from Patricia Clarkson One of the best dressed for me. 😍
I really loved Felicity Huffman’s look, but I’m tired! Go look for it yourself 😜.