Shoegasm. Or not? My take on some of the popular shoes out there.
Like most ladies, I love shoes. Shoes are one of the items I’ve splurged on the most, well, shoes and sunglasses. Then my kids came into my life and I’ve soaked myself so much into the mum life that I’ve hardly had time for anything else.
This little birdie wants to fly again, I think it’s time I give ME a little more attention. This new attitude has got me looking out – scouting and browsing the web for my next set of splurges. My interest in footwear is not restricted to the luxury brands alone though, I buy what catches my fancy.
When I was younger, I got entangled in the trend game – wearing what’s trendy and ‘in vogue’ as we used to say then. I don’t think there’s been any time where we had more fashion trends than the 90s, and I wrote about it here. The older me is done with that, I wear what I like whenever I want, even if it’s so last season. I think fashion is boring when it’s restrictive, moreover who makes these rules! Nah, I make my own rules 😛.
Back to shoes.
Whilst looking around for what I like I couldn’t help but notice how ludicrous some of the shoes out there are. So I decided to make this post about the designs that I’m just not getting.
I titled this post, Shoegasm, a nod to our shoe-loving famous character- Carry Bradshaw of the Sex and the City fame. Shoegasm is an intense excitement or pleasure caused by looking at, wearing, or buying shoes.
Remember, style is unique to everyone, what I think is gorgeous may be bleeeh to you and vice versa. So just read it with an open mind and have fun. 😉
Balenciaga x Crocs Madame
I thought we’d start with this monstrosity! This is what happens when Crocs marries Balenciaga!
Crocs are not the nicest looking shoes in the world, but they are practical and we like them. Plus, whoever came up with the idea of the charms must be a Wizz kid! Then strolls in the Balenciaga team and they decide to take the practicality out of Crocs, I mean that’s the only reason why most people like Crocs right! We’re left with an unusual crossbreed. Would I be caught in this? Nope, count me out.
Amina Muadi ‘Rosie’
Calm down ladies, I know, I know, how dare I right?
Since Amina Muaddi burst into the fashion scene with her fairytale-like shoes, she has been enjoying a cult following. I mean who sells out designer shoes during a lock-down! She did and is still doing but somehow I’m not getting it. I’m a big fan of pointed-toe shoes which she mainly does but I just don’t like these heels, they seem off to me. Would I be seen in this? Possibly. But only If I get it as a gift.
Mach & Mach Crystal Embellished Pumps
And another fan favourite walks in! I’m sorry guys, I know most ladies are into these new Mach and Mach shoes but not for me. Like what in the barbie world is going on here?
Anytime I see anyone in these shoes I keep hearing in my head “C’mon barbie let’s go party” Lool. I’m sorry but these shoes and all those Amina Muadi’s colourful shoes belong in your daughter or niece’s doll house. 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
I know Amina Muadi inspired these cinderellaish type shoes that are all the rage now. I do like how some brands are playing with it, but this one is just too much for me! Would I rock this? I’ll rock the mules, the mules aren’t that bad, but these ones with the straps, I’ll pass.
Jimmy Choo ‘Averly’ Pumps
They’re so pretty right?! I feel so too. Please don’t put me in the naughty corner 🙏🏾! My problem is they’re too dainty. Most people I’ve seen in these looked ridiculous in them 🤦🏾♀️.
I think the lock-down brought out the little girls in us all and it’s good, it’s good – to an extent 😂😂.
Imagine someone mistakenly stepping on one of the pretty bows when the wearer is in motion! 🥶They look like an accident waiting to happen…
Will I wear them? I don’t know, with these ones you have to get the outfit right, maybe I’ll just stay away…
Adidas Yeezy Foam Runner
Seriously! What in the alien attack is going on here? I don’t even know what to say about these Yeezys. I guess they’re having the effect Crocs had on people – comfort. They look so comfortable, so apart from the Kanye effect, maybe that’s why people like them.
These babies initially retailed at $75, they sold out immediately they became available. They now are three times their initial price on the resell market.
Would I be seen in this? 😁
Balenciaga Triple Chunky Sneakers
It’s Balenciaga again! If this were from an unknown brand, let’s say – made in Aba or Ilorin would you wear them? They’re ugly and look uncomfortable. Good luck to those rocking these.
Chloe ‘Betty’ Rain boot
So there’s this new thing with rubber-soled boots, would you rock them? I actually don’t mind the Bottega ones, they look nice, maybe not really my aesthetic though. However, if l am forced to wear one, I’ll go with one from the Bottega collection.
Balenciaga Trooper Boots
Look at this one from Balenciaga, it looks angry 😅. I actually like it. I can rock this too.
Let’s go back to all things bright and beautiful, or not 🤔
Could it be your favourite designers had a meeting to make ridiculous shoes? The shoes they’re churning out now are either too ugly or too childish or could it be I’m the one getting too grumpy? 😨
Bottega Veneta ‘Bv Point’ Pumps
Remember the story of the Elves and the shoemaker? Doesn’t this look like one of the shoes the elves would have made? Bottega actually has a couple of these elf inspired shoes in their collection. If this was not from a popular brand, would you wear it?
I will, I think they’ll look nice paired with really nice tailored long pants.
Bottega Veneta Quilted Pumps
What in Mini Mouse name is going on here! I think our darling Mini walked into the Bottega showroom and forgot her shoes there. I mean, most grandmas will feel comfortable wearing these shoes and I don’t mean the new set of trendy grandmums we have now!
We get the quilt look for bags, we’ve embraced them as purses and we’re tolerating them as slipons, but PUMPS! C’mon now, don’t try our patience Bottega, stop eettt.
Dolce & Gabbana faux fur heels
This shoe must be inspired by the Grinch, and it’s also trying to steal our shoegasm just like the Grinch tried to steal Christmas. 😂
It’s a crazy one, looks like it can only be good on a runway, or maybe a photoshoot. Don’t be surprised if you see it on a night out though, it’s wild out there. 😂😂😂
Thanks, Valerie – for sending this 😉.
Bottega Venetta Wire Stretch Sandals
A genius idea I must say, these Bottega Veneta wire stretch sandals. The execution though – it’s an interesting anomaly. Takes you back to your living room in the 80s right, good old days. Perhaps the right foot is on a call with the left foot 😁. “Hey leftie, are you feeling these shoes?” “No, I’m not, Sis didn’t get it right this time” hahaha (both laughs) 🤦🏾♀️
Jokes apart, I’ve hardly seen any feet they look good on though, they’re just not flattering. It’s a ‘No’ for me…
Balenciaga d’Orsay Pumps
Balenciaga, Balenciaga, Balenciaga! How many times did I call you? What’s really happening? I’ve never seen shoes look more awkward! I #duckfeet.
Balenciaga is the high chief of weird fashion, if these were made by a random brand would you rock them? I’m not sure I will. I feel like I’ll look like a duck in pumps 😂😂I don’t mind trying them though, but definitely not in pink!
Bottega Veneta Tower Square-toe Pumps
These fashion houses keep trying to outdo each other in odd pairs, especially Balenciaga and Bottega Veneta! I kind of like the oddity of this shoe though, I see myself in this.
JW Anderson Chain Leather Loafers
I think it was Gucci that started this chunky chains trend a few seasons ago. Looks like they’re here to stay. They’re just too garish and attention-grabbing for me.
Would I rock this style? Maybe on a day I want everyone’s attention which is like never 😂. Less is always more for me.
Prada Rubber Sandals
I’ll end this post with this Jelly’s reinvention from Prada. 😂😂😂 Do you remember when those shoes were popular in the 90s? I got a nice hand me down pair from my sis then which I used to tension people in my last year of secondary school. They were wet looks too 😋.
Anyway, I just don’t see what’s flattering about these shoes. I will never be caught in them, well except it’s a bet for a tempting sum.
Told you guys Aliens have taken over the world, especially our fashion houses! If not how do you explain this weird fashion 😂😂😂. I’m loving it all though.
So, which one of these would you rock? Please share on my Instagram page @auntyluluuu.
Till next time ladies, thank you for reading.
🎶 I’m a barbie girl in the barbie world
life is plastic it’s fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
imagination, life is your creation
🎵 C’mon Barbie, let’s go party 💃🏾💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽Aqua – Barbie girl