The Essence of You: Showing the World Why You Came
Every now and again, something happens that makes you pause and reflect. It could be a conversation, an experience, an old memory, a song or even a film. Sometimes, inspiration comes from the most unexpected places, including experiences we would rather not have had.
If you follow my writing, you will know that I am one of those people who can find a life lesson in almost anything. I am always looking for the meaning behind an experience, the wisdom in a story, or a song and the lesson that might be worth sharing.
Which brings me to a film I absolutely love: Slumdog Millionaire.
If you remember the film, Jamal, a young man from the slums of Mumbai, finds himself on a television quiz show, answering questions that seem almost impossible for someone with his background to answer correctly.
And how does he know the answers? Because life, in one way or another, has exposed him to them. His experiences, many of them painful and difficult, have given him the knowledge he needs to answer the questions before him.
Now, I am certainly not suggesting that we should all have to go through adversity to become knowledgeable! Please, if knowledge can come without suffering, let it come!
But there is a lesson here. Sometimes, the things we experience in life, even those we do not understand at the time, can teach us something valuable. The key is to recognise the lessons, take what is useful, and move forward with the wisdom we have gained.
And that brings me to a memory from my teenage years.
Show the World the Reason You Came
I was recently privileged to speak at a ladies’ event on the theme The Essence of You. As I reflected on the topic, my mind travelled back to a song I learnt during my teenage years.
One of the things I remember fondly about that season of my life was attending Christian teen camps. They were exciting experiences, and each camp had a theme song that captured the message we were meant to take away. The last camp I attended had a theme song titled ‘Show the World‘.
When I came across the theme The Essence of You, that song came rushing back to me. Its message was about showing the world why you came, allowing God’s glory to be seen through your life, and using the gifts He has placed within you to touch lives and make the world a better place.
I knew almost immediately that this was the direction I wanted to take with my message.
It struck me that sometimes, the things we encounter in one season of life prepare us for another. A song learnt many years ago, perhaps without fully appreciating the depth of its message at the time, can resurface when we need its wisdom most.
And so, what began as a reflection on a ladies’ event became an opportunity to revisit a message that has stayed with me over the years: you are here for a reason, and there is something God has placed within you that the world needs to see.
I have decided to share that message here on the blog. My hope is that, as you read, you will be encouraged to reflect on your own essence, recognise the gifts God has placed within you, and consider how you can use them to make a difference in the world around you.
Show the world why you came
Think about that for a moment. Show the world the reason why you came.
It sounds like a huge assignment, doesn’t it?
You may be thinking, Aunty Lulu, what exactly do you want me to do? Save the world? Solve the problems of humanity? Start a multinational organisation? Build a foundation? Become a global speaker?
All those things are wonderful. By all means, dream big!
But showing the world why you came does not necessarily require a grand plan, a huge platform or an extraordinary amount of money?
Sometimes, it begins with something as simple as being the person God created you to be.
The woman who brings wisdom into her home. The woman who encourages another woman when she is ready to give up. The man who uses his professional knowledge to solve a problem. The man who creates opportunities for others. The woman who speaks up when something is wrong. The person who walks into a room and leaves it better than she found it.
You do not have to be known by the whole world to make a difference in it.
You simply have to recognise what you carry, develop it and be willing to use it.
Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us of God’s plans for us, plans for peace and not evil, to give us a future and a hope. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.
In other words, our lives are not without purpose. There is something to be done, something to be expressed, something to be contributed.
The question is: Are we living in a way that allows that purpose to find expression?
1. Discover the essence of you
Before you can show the world why you came, you must first discover who you are.
And I want to emphasise something here: you are not simply the roles you perform.
Yes, you are somebody’s wife. You may be somebody’s mother, father, daughter, sister, uncle, friend or colleague. You may be a director, an entrepreneur, a professional, a homemaker or a combination of several things.
Those roles matter. They are part of your life and, in many cases, a significant part of your purpose.
But they are not the entirety of you.
Who are you beneath the labels?
Who are you when nobody is calling you Mummy? Who are you when you are not being introduced as somebody’s wife? Who are you when the job title is removed, the accolades disappear and there is nobody to applaud you?
What do you believe in? What are your values and convictions? What makes you light up? What are the things you care deeply about? What comes naturally to you? What problems do you instinctively want to solve?
You must make time to discover yourself.
This is particularly important for women because, in the course of caring for others, we can sometimes lose sight of ourselves. We become so good at being there for everybody else that we forget to ask whether we are being true to ourselves, too.
We know what our children need. We know what our husbands need. We know what our employers expect. We know what our families require.
But do we know what we need to become the fullest expression of ourselves?
I am not suggesting that you abandon your responsibilities. Far from it. I am saying that you must not disappear inside them.
You are allowed to grow. You are allowed to discover new interests. You are allowed to pursue a calling that is different from what people expected of you. You are allowed to enter a new season of life and discover that there is more to you than you previously imagined.
Your essence is not merely what you do. It is who you are at your core: your character, your values, your gifts, your convictions and the unique contribution you can make.
So, begin by asking yourself: Who am I, and what has God placed inside me?
Because you cannot give expression to what you have not taken the time to recognise.
2. Recognise what you carry
Once you begin to discover who you are, the next question is: what do you carry?
I believe that each of us has something to offer, and I am reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14–30.
The master entrusted his servants with different amounts. To one, he gave five talents; to another, two; and to another, one, each according to his ability.
The first two servants put what they received to work and increased it. The third servant, however, buried his talent.
He did not lose it in an accident. He did not invest it and make a poor return. He buried it.
He was so afraid that he chose not to use what had been entrusted to him.
When the master returned, he was displeased with that servant for failing to put his talent to work.
I find this parable sobering because it reminds me that what we have been given is not meant to be buried. It is meant to be used.
Let me make an important distinction. Our talents, abilities and opportunities may differ. We will not all have the same resources, platforms or starting points.
But differences in what we have been given are not a reason to do nothing with what is ours.
Sometimes, we look at another woman and think, What do I have that she does not have? Look at her! Look at what she has achieved, her connections, her platform and how effortlessly she seems to do everything.
And because what we carry appears small beside what she carries, we begin to shrink.
We hide. We convince ourselves that we are not good enough, that there is nothing special about us, or that somebody else is better qualified to do what we have been thinking about doing.
But, your assignment is not to reproduce somebody else’s life. It is to be faithful with what has been entrusted to you.
You may not have her resources, but what do you have?
You may not have his audience, but who can you reach?
You may not have her experience, but what have you learnt?
You may not have their platform, but what can you do with the space you occupy today?
Stop measuring the value of your contribution solely by comparing it with somebody else’s.
The fact that another person has a larger platform does not make your contribution insignificant. The fact that your friend is further along in her journey does not mean that you have nothing to offer.
There is room for you to grow. There is room for you to learn. There is room for you to become better.
And there is room for you to begin.
3. Develop the essence of you
Recognising what you carry is only the beginning. You must develop it.
You cannot expect to become the best expression of yourself without investing in yourself.
If you have a talent, nurture it. If you have a passion, explore it. If there is a skill you need, learn it. If there is knowledge you lack, acquire it.
Read books. Take courses. Seek mentorship. Listen to useful teaching. Study the Word of God. Build the discipline to keep improving, even when nobody is watching.
Work on your character, too, because purpose without character can become a problem.
You can be talented and still be difficult to work with. You can be gifted and still lack discipline. You can have wonderful ideas and still struggle to execute them because you have not developed the habits required to bring them to life.
So, as you develop your gifts, develop yourself.
Learn patience. Learn humility. Learn to receive correction. Learn to work with people. Learn to manage disappointment without becoming bitter.
And please, do not confuse your potential with your finished product.
Potential is what could be. Development is the work that helps you become it.
You may have a beautiful gift, but if you never work on it, practise it, refine it or give it room to grow, you may never discover the full extent of what it can do.
Think about a seed. It carries the potential for growth, but it must be planted, watered and given the right conditions.
In the same way, you must nurture what is within you.
Do not be afraid to refine yourself. We all have areas where we can improve.
The essence of you is not an excuse to remain exactly as you are. Being authentic does not mean refusing to grow. You can be unapologetically yourself while still working on becoming a wiser, kinder, more disciplined and more effective version of yourself.
Do not hide what makes you different. Develop it.
What you have been trying to suppress because it does not look like everybody else’s gift may be precisely what you need to cultivate.
4. Start small, but start!
Now, this is where many of us get stuck.
We have discovered something we would like to do. We have an idea, a vision and perhaps we have even prayed about it.
We can see the big picture, and that is wonderful. I am a believer in thinking big.
But sometimes, we are so preoccupied with the big picture that we refuse to take the first small step.
We want the office before we start the business. We want the large audience before we share the message. We want the funding before we test the idea. We want everything to be perfect before we begin.
And while we wait for the perfect conditions, time passes.
Ladies, do not let the size of your vision become the reason you never start.
Start in your little corner.
Start in your neighbourhood. Start in your church. Start with the people you know. Start in your workplace. Start in the space you occupy, whether it is comfortable or uncomfortable.
If you want to write, write.
If you want to teach, find an opportunity to teach.
If you want to start a business, begin by understanding the problem you want to solve.
If you want to encourage women, start with the woman sitting beside you.
If you have knowledge that can help someone, share it.
You may not be able to do everything you envision today, but you can do something.
And while you are doing that something, you are learning. You are developing. You are building confidence. You are discovering what works and what needs to change.
Remember our friend Jamal in Slumdog Millionaire? His experiences had prepared him in ways he could not have anticipated.
In the same way, what you learn in your small beginnings may prepare you for opportunities you cannot yet see.
Zechariah 4:10 reminds us not to despise the day of small things.
And let me tell you something else: be prepared for disappointment.
Not everybody will understand what you are doing. Some people will criticise you. Some will question your decisions. Some will fail to support you. And sometimes, you will have to keep going when the applause is absent.
There may be days when you feel alone, moments when you wonder whether you heard God correctly, and times when your efforts do not produce the results you expected.
Learn from those moments. Make adjustments where necessary. Seek wise counsel. Rest when you need to rest.
But do not allow every setback to become a reason to abandon your purpose.
You may need to change your approach. You may need to learn a new skill. You may even need to take a different route.
That is not necessarily failure. Sometimes, it is part of the process.
Take it one day at a time. Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep moving.
You do not have to start big. You have to be willing to start.
5. Do not wait for permission to shine
Another thing that can hinder us is our need for approval.
We want people to understand us. We want them to believe in us. We want them to affirm our decisions and applaud our progress.
Of course, encouragement is lovely. Support is valuable. We all need people who believe in us.
But we cannot make other people’s approval the condition for our becoming.
If you wait for everybody to agree with your vision before you pursue it, you may wait a very long time.
If you need everybody to understand your journey before you take the next step, you may never take it.
And if you constantly adjust yourself to make everybody comfortable, you may eventually lose sight of the person you are becoming.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:14 that we are the light of the world, a city set on a hill that cannot be hidden.
Think about that.
Light is not useful because it spends its time apologising for being light. Light serves its purpose by shining.
Now, this does not mean we should become arrogant, insensitive or unwilling to listen to advice. We must remain teachable. We must be willing to learn and recognise when we are wrong.
But there is a difference between receiving wise correction and allowing fear of people’s opinions to silence you.
You can be humble without making yourself invisible.
You can be kind without making yourself small.
You can celebrate other women without diminishing yourself.
You can support another person’s light without extinguishing your own.
And you can occupy your space without apologising for the fact that you are there.
Genesis speaks of humanity being given dominion over creation. I see this as a call to responsible stewardship: to cultivate, manage, create and make good use of what has been entrusted to us.
So, when I speak about dominating your little corner of the world, I am not talking about bullying people, competing destructively or proving that you are better than everyone else.
I am talking about thriving in your calling.
Be effective where you are. Do your work well. Use your gifts. Solve problems. Create opportunities. Bring your ideas to life. Make your contribution.
You do not need permission from everybody in the room to become who God has called you to be.
Sometimes, you simply need the courage to take the next step.
6. Your essence is meant to bless others
There is something important I do not want us to miss: your talent is yours, but its impact is not meant to end with you.
The song that inspired this reflection carried a message about being a gift from God, using our lives to touch the world and helping to make it a better place.
That is the heart of it.
Your gifts are not simply for your personal enjoyment, although you are allowed to enjoy them.
You may build a successful career from them. You may establish a thriving business. You may earn an income, gain recognition and open doors for yourself and your family.
There is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things.
But ask yourself: beyond what I gain, who else benefits from what I carry?
Who is encouraged because of my words?
Who is better equipped because of my knowledge?
Who has an opportunity because I opened a door?
Who feels seen because I took the time to listen?
Who has learnt something because I was willing to share?
Who is better because I showed up?
Sometimes, we imagine impact must be enormous to be meaningful.
But consider the woman who raises children with love, wisdom and strong values. Consider the woman who mentors a younger colleague. Consider the woman who uses her professional expertise to improve a service. Consider the woman who creates employment, supports another woman’s business or speaks up for someone who cannot speak for herself.
These things matter.
You may never know the full extent of your influence.
A word of encouragement may help somebody find the courage to try again. A lesson you share may save someone years of unnecessary struggle. An opportunity you create may change the direction of a family.
This is why we must not bury our gifts.
The world does not need us to be perfect. It needs us to be willing to use what we have, to the best of our ability, with wisdom, integrity and compassion.
7. Make sure you leave a mark
One day, our individual journeys will come to an end. And when that day comes, what will we have left behind?
What will people remember?
Will they remember only our titles, the things we bought, the places we visited and the achievements we accumulated?
Or will they remember how we made them feel, what we taught them, the doors we opened, the values we upheld and the difference we made?
Legacy is not something we begin to think about when we are old. We build it in our everyday choices.
It is in how we treat people when there is nothing to gain.
It is in the standards we refuse to compromise.
It is in the courage to stand for what is right.
It is in the opportunities we create for others.
It is in the way we use our influence.
It is in the lives we touch while we are here.
And please remember, impact is not measured only by how many people know your name. Sometimes, the most profound influence happens away from the spotlight.
Your essence is your core: your character, your gifts, your calling and the unique fragrance you bring into the world.
So, I ask you: when you leave a room, what remains because you were there?
When you leave an organisation, what have you contributed?
When you move into a new season, what have you learnt and what are you carrying forward?
When your journey is done, what will you be remembered for?
These are not questions designed to make us anxious. They are questions to help us live intentionally.
We have today. We have opportunities. We have gifts. We have people around us who may benefit from what we know and who we are.
Let us use them well.
A word about protecting your light
Before I close, there is one more thing I want to say.
By all means, shine.
Be bold about your gifts. Be confident in your calling. Be willing to take up space and contribute.
But remember that shining does not mean revealing every detail of your life to everybody.
Wisdom matters. Discernment matters. Boundaries matter.
Not everybody needs to know every plan you are working on. Not everybody has earned access to your most vulnerable moments. Not everybody will understand what you are building, and not every opinion deserves equal weight.
Choose your confidants wisely. Seek counsel from people whose character and judgement you respect. Protect your peace. Learn when to speak and when to be quiet.
And please, do not interpret every disagreement as an attempt to dim your light. Sometimes, the people who challenge us are the very people who help us grow.
The point is not to become suspicious of everybody. It is to understand that you can be open-hearted and still be discerning.
You can shine without exposing everything.
You can be generous without abandoning boundaries.
You can walk in purpose without making your entire journey public.
Let your light shine, but let wisdom guide how you walk.
Show the world why you came
I want to bring us back to where we started: Show the world the reason why you came.
Let God’s glory be seen in your life. Use the gifts He has placed in you to touch the world and help make it a better place.
As you reflect on the essence of who you are, I want you to consider three questions.
1. What do I carry?
Take the time to discover your gifts, your values, your convictions and the things you have been entrusted with.
2. What am I doing with it?
Am I developing my potential, taking action and making the most of the opportunities available to me?
3. Who is being blessed by it?
Am I using what I have to make a difference, however small that difference may appear?
You do not need to have all the answers today. You do not need to have your entire life mapped out.
But you must be willing to begin. You must be willing to grow. You must be willing to show up.
Discover who you are beneath the labels. Recognise what you carry. Develop your potential. Start where you are.
Do not allow comparison to make you bury your gift. Do not wait for everybody’s approval before you take the next step.
And never forget that what you carry is not just for you. There is somebody who may need the wisdom, kindness, knowledge, creativity, courage or opportunity that you can offer.
The world does not need you to become a copy of another woman. It needs you to discover, develop and express the woman God created you to be.
So, let us stop shrinking. Let us stop waiting for perfect conditions. Let us stop burying what we have because it does not look as impressive as what somebody else possesses.
Let us live intentionally. Let us serve faithfully. Let us grow continually. Let us shine wisely.
And when our time here is done, may it be said that we did not merely occupy space. We used what we were given. We touched lives. We made a difference. We left a mark.
Your essence is in you. Your purpose is calling. Your potential is waiting to be developed. Your impact begins when you decide to act.
May we each have the courage to become who God has called us to be. And may the world be a better place because we came.
Aunty Lulu
